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We All Grieve Differently

6/27/2023

When you lose your spouse, the way you grieve your loss will differ from another widow or widower you may know. While it’s true we all have a similar experience, the relationship we had with our spouses differ, and the way we grieve will differ too. We all have a unique set of fingerprints and we all have a different way to handle our grief. So, do not compare yourself to another widowed person.

Often when someone I talk with hears I’m widowed, they begin talking about a loss of theirs – their mom or dad, a sibling, another relative, or a friend. This lack of sensitivity always bothers me…because there is NOTHING like losing your spouse. I try not to let it bother me because I know their intent is to try and help, but it really does not help at all. Sometimes people will even talk about the pain of losing their beloved pet or going through a divorce. Try to forgive and know they are only trying to help. No one knows what to say or how to help you, unless they have lost a spouse too.

The parents or siblings of your spouse, if still alive, will grieve differently than you. Your children will grieve differently. You had a unique relationship with your spouse, so try not to judge others in the way they grieve the loss of your spouse.

#grief #griefandloss #griefsupport #griefjourney #spousegrief

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Which is Worse – a Sudden Death or a Long-term Illness?

6/19/2023

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My husband, Greg, suffered through a five-year battle with cancer. I have talked to many widows and widowers through the grief forum I facilitate….and we all agree, neither one is easier.

When your spouse dies suddenly, you’re in such a state of shock, but even when your spouse suffered through an illness for years, the final end is still a shock. Greg’s impending death really hit me in that final year when I realized how weak he was becoming from his two types of cancer. But I still didn’t expect him to die when he did. The day before he died, I kept an appointment Greg had made with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) months earlier. If I knew that was his last day alive, I would never have kept the appointment, but I didn’t know.

What I’ve come to realize is that: THE END IS NEVER PERFECT!

Widowed people who lose their spouse suddenly, seem to have a harder time initially moving through their grief, but after about two months, all widowed people seem to suffer the same degree of pain. The only people I have seen have a harder time are those who lost their spouse through suicide or murder. Those situations add an increased degree of complexity and those widows and widowers need more help.

I have regrets I kept that IRS appointment, and we all have regrets about something. But, forgive yourself – you don’t know what you don’t know.

#grief #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefjourney

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3 Themes When Moving through Grief

6/13/2023

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When you lose your spouse, your whole world changes. Grieving is a process, so try to follow these three (3) themes as your journey through your grief.

YOU: It is about you now and your healing. Although sad, you are the one alive. Do whatever works for you. Do not let anyone dictate what you should or should not do. Maybe, for once in your life, permit yourself some selfishness.
Work THROUGH your grief. Instead of keeping busy to avoid your grief, do not walk around it, going in circles. Face it; confront it head-on. Other people may tell you to “just keep busy,” but doing so only delays your healing.
Do ONE thing. Force yourself to do one thing each day. This may simply be making your bed, eating one healthy thing, getting dressed, returning one phone call, or cleaning a drawer. One little step each day helps you gain strength.

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We All Grieve Differently

Which is Worse – a Sudden Death or a Long-term Illness?

3 Themes When Moving through Grief

When You Lose Your Spouse

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We All Grieve Differently

Which is Worse – a Sudden Death or a Long-term Illness?

​3 Themes When Moving through Grief

When You Lose Your Spouse

Archives

Categories

3 Themes When Moving through Grief