My husband, Greg, suffered through a five-year battle with cancer. I have talked to many widows and widowers through the grief forum I facilitate….and we all agree, neither one is easier.
When your spouse dies suddenly, you’re in such a state of shock, but even when your spouse suffered through an illness for years, the final end is still a shock. Greg’s impending death really hit me in that final year when I realized how weak he was becoming from his two types of cancer. But I still didn’t expect him to die when he did. The day before he died, I kept an appointment Greg had made with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) months earlier. If I knew that was his last day alive, I would never have kept the appointment, but I didn’t know.
What I’ve come to realize is that: THE END IS NEVER PERFECT!
Widowed people who lose their spouse suddenly, seem to have a harder time initially moving through their grief, but after about two months, all widowed people seem to suffer the same degree of pain. The only people I have seen have a harder time are those who lost their spouse through suicide or murder. Those situations add an increased degree of complexity and those widows and widowers need more help.
I have regrets I kept that IRS appointment, and we all have regrets about something. But, forgive yourself – you don’t know what you don’t know.
#grief #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefjourney
When your spouse dies suddenly, you’re in such a state of shock, but even when your spouse suffered through an illness for years, the final end is still a shock. Greg’s impending death really hit me in that final year when I realized how weak he was becoming from his two types of cancer. But I still didn’t expect him to die when he did. The day before he died, I kept an appointment Greg had made with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) months earlier. If I knew that was his last day alive, I would never have kept the appointment, but I didn’t know.
What I’ve come to realize is that: THE END IS NEVER PERFECT!
Widowed people who lose their spouse suddenly, seem to have a harder time initially moving through their grief, but after about two months, all widowed people seem to suffer the same degree of pain. The only people I have seen have a harder time are those who lost their spouse through suicide or murder. Those situations add an increased degree of complexity and those widows and widowers need more help.
I have regrets I kept that IRS appointment, and we all have regrets about something. But, forgive yourself – you don’t know what you don’t know.
#grief #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefjourney
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