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Do You Think You're Crazy?

10/31/2023

Do you ever feel like you’re going crazy or wonder if you’re slowly going insane as you move through the grieving process? Before your spouse died, you could:

Think clearly

Everything you needed was at your fingertips.
You functioned liked a normal person.
Knew what to do and when to do it
You were organized!

Now:

Tears come for any reason.
You snap at a loved one for a minor infraction.
Overreact to a rescheduled appointment.
Lose your keys.
Can’t find your glasses when they’re sitting on top of your head?

Did I do any of these things? Yes, of course. So relax, you ARE normal. It’s just grief at work.

Whether you cry all the time OR not at all, it’s normal.
If you have trouble concentrating, it’s normal.
If you feel like you’re in a fog, it’s normal.
If you seem absent minded, you’re normal.
If you’re confused, you’re normal.
If you’re scared, have increased anxiety, or find yourself worrying more, you’re normal.

If you’ve read any of H. Norman Wright’s works, you may be familiar with his diagram, A Tangled Ball of Emotions, because grief is certainly that. You can find the image online by searching for “tangled ball of emotions.”

It’s so important not to question your sanity though when you lose your spouse because grieving is hard work. It’s clearly not for the weak of heart.

But remember, grieving brings healing. If you’re following Theme 2 from my book, and are doing the “grief work,” you will come through your grief and find some peace.

@spouse_grief #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefandloss #spouseloss

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The Big Question - WHY?

10/10/2023

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In my July 12 blog, I discussed “How Long” – how long does grief last? Well, as you struggle with trying to answer that question, you might also be asking yourself the big question…WHY?

Why did your spouse die, especially when there are so many evil people in the world?
Why now?
If you lost your spouse to Covid, why in such a wasteful manner?
Why not me first?

Unfortunately, there is no clear answer to the WHY question. God’s plan for His kingdom is way bigger than my tiny world. His ways are a mystery….especially when bad people seem to be everywhere!

Sometimes we have to accept that not all questions have answers. Ask yourself, if you knew the answer to why, would you really feel better? I’m not sure.

God’s power is infinite and I do not understand all He does and why…and I guess I never will. So, leave the Why to Him—he does have a reason. Maybe your spouse accomplished everything he or she was supposed to accomplish on earth and they are ready to have eternal peace and happiness. But, you and I still have work to do—we have not accomplished our work in this life. We cannot have eternal happiness yet.

So, you may wonder what is the meaning of your life now that your spouse has died? What is your unfinished work?

I mentioned Viktor Frankl’s book, the Meaning of Life, in an earlier blog and when he talks about the meaning of life, he says there is no one answer for everybody. The meaning of life to you stems from your circumstances and it changes as your circumstances change.

Well, losing your spouse certainly changed your circumstances, so allow yourself time to figure out the new meaning of your life. Theme 1 from my book, When You Lose Your Spouse, is It’s All About You—work to uncover YOUR meaning moving forward.

#grief #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefsupport #spousegrief #spouseloss

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Do You Think You're Crazy?

The Big Question - WHY?

When You Lose Your Spouse

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