Your mind is a powerful thing, so try to use it for your own good. You can easily be negative and think of everything you lost when your spouse died, but try to reframe how you think about losing your spouse. Here are some ways to begin:
Be thankful for whatever time you had with your spouse, whether
you had him or her for 5, 10, or more years – and consider whatever
time you had as a gift.
Grief is supposed to hurt because the purpose of grieving is to
bring healing. You have to grieve in order to heal. So, allow yourself
some time to grieve.
This is another way to think of your suffering as a “gift” to your
spouse. Frankl says suffering ceases to be suffering when it has
meaning. Think of the gift you’re giving your spouse—the gift of
peace.
So, instead of thinking what you lost, think about the GIFT you received for so many years and the gift you continue to give every day.
Watch my videos on TikTok, YouTube, or Instagram: @spouse_grief
#grief #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefsupport #spousegrief #lossspouse #spouseloss
- Think of the time you had with your spouse as a gift. Every morning when I say my prayers, I thank God for giving Greg to me for 43 years. Of course I wanted more years, but I think of our 43 years as such a gift and gifts are wonderful things to receive.
Be thankful for whatever time you had with your spouse, whether
you had him or her for 5, 10, or more years – and consider whatever
time you had as a gift.
- Another way to look at your lose is to consider, “what if you never MET your spouse?” It’s true that if you had not met him or her, you would not be suffering now for your loss. But, is that really what you would prefer? There’s a quote that says, “grief is the price you pay for loving someone.” (I’ve seen it attributed to both Queen Elizabeth II and Zig Ziglar.)
Grief is supposed to hurt because the purpose of grieving is to
bring healing. You have to grieve in order to heal. So, allow yourself
some time to grieve.
- Viktor Frankl wrote a book called The Meaning of Life and in it he talks about the meaning of suffering (he was in a labor camp). He tells the story about a friend of his who came to talk to him years later because he was despondent over losing his wife. Frankl asked him how his wife would have fared if he had died first and his wife survived him. In that moment, the man realized the gift he had given to his wife – he was suffering so she didn’t have to suffer losing him.
This is another way to think of your suffering as a “gift” to your
spouse. Frankl says suffering ceases to be suffering when it has
meaning. Think of the gift you’re giving your spouse—the gift of
peace.
So, instead of thinking what you lost, think about the GIFT you received for so many years and the gift you continue to give every day.
Watch my videos on TikTok, YouTube, or Instagram: @spouse_grief
#grief #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefsupport #spousegrief #lossspouse #spouseloss
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